Two Classics on Hulu

Hulu is coolu (I should be in advertisement :)). Here are two classic movies you can stream:


Hercules in New York

This is (supposably) Arnold's first movie. Plot: Hercules (Arnold) is bored of Mt. Olympus, and goes to New York, against the wishes of his father Zeus. There, he shows the mortals how strong he is. Conflict ensues when Hera takes away his divinity, right before his televised weight lifting competition (gosh darn it).

This was really hard to watch til the end (boring), but I made it through! My favorite parts:

• Pretzy is named "Pretzy" cuz he sells pretzels down by the docks (of course!).
• Arnold wrestling with the "bear" that escaped from the zoo (man in bear suit).
  
• The radio message from Arnold to Pretzy at the end of the movie:
  

  [A sullen Pretzy turns on the radio]
  Hercules, as a disembodied voice on the radio: Don't grieve, my friend. In the memory that leaves us, separation may have a quiet happiness all its own.
  Pretzy: Herc?
  Hercules: We are friends, you and I, and nothing can take that from us.
  Pretzy: Herc! Where are ya Herc? What are you doin' in my radio? Herc, it's me! It's Pretzy! Why'd you take a powder like that? Why'd you just leave? Huh? I didn't say anything out of line, did I, or do nothin'?
  Hercules: I enjoyed knowing you, my little friend.
  Pretzy: Herc, ain't I never gonna see you again, Herc? Ain't you never comin' back, even for a visit? Cuz if you ain't it's sure gonna be lonesome for me again. Herc, we really did all them things, didn't we? I didn't just imagine all them things, did I? It wasn't what the head shrinkers call "wishful thinking" was it?
  [Flashbacks to Hercules' antics, Hercules flexing his muscles]
  Hercules: Anytime you wish me to be with you, all you need do is think of me, and there I shall be, in your mind, and in your heart, for as long as you want me to be, as long as you need me.
  Pretzy: Herc? Herc? [to himself]"Anytime you need me, anytime you want me, just think of me, and I'll be there, for as long as you want me to be." Yeah! I think I'll eat an apple.
  

• Zeus's lightning rod.
• There is no sound during any of the "action" scenes.
• Arnold is our governor. His signature is on my PhD. At least I don't have Larry Summers on my Bachelor's.

Memorable quotes, according to IMDB:

• Hercules: Hercules hides from no man!
• Hercules: Hercules has no need of money!
• Hercules: Bucks? Doe? What is all this zoological talk about male and female animals?
• Hercules: [throwing an attacking robber aside] How dare you touch Hercules!
• Hercules: [Grabs forklift truck, stopping it dead] A fine chariot... but where are your horses?


• Helen Camden: [noticing a poster for a "Hercules" stage show] Oh look, you're famous.
  Hercules: That is not Hercules! And who is that monster who looks as if he has come straight from the kingdom of the underworld?
  Helen Camden: Oh no, this is a motion picture, a play! Really, you mustn't take yourself so seriously.
  Hercules: He doesn't even look like me! Look...
  [takes his sweater off]
  Helen Camden: What... what are you doing?
  [noticing his impressive muscles]
  Helen Camden: Oh wow!
  Hercules: [flexing] Does he? Hahahah. Does he?
  

Tsui Hark's Vampire Hunters

Plot: There's a vampire on the loose near the Jiang house! The band of vampire-hunting heroes go undercover at the estate and accept jobs as servants. The Jiang family are famous for their piles of gold and for their unique manor of preserving their dead. As a ruse to lure Jiang away from his gold, the bad guys animate the well-preserved dead Jiangs, who proceed to hop around in unison like cute little robot bunnies. The heroes have to keep the zombie Jiangs from becoming an army of vampires (or something like that ...).

Overall, this movie definitely falls in the "watchable" category. I appreciated its uniqueness. I didn't totally follow the plot, but maybe I wasn't paying close enough attention.

My favorite parts:

• The way the vampire sucks the blood of its victims! So cool! It sucks people's blood from a distance out of their facial orifices (see screencap above).
  
• One of the dubbed voices (the movie is originally in Chinese) for what can only be described as a bandit has a bad Mexican accent. That's PC.
  
• The bunny-hopping army of the undead, of course.